If you want to ass rape a franchise, at least use some lube

My love for Hollywood directors is on a slippery slope. Not only for the fact that movies now-a-days are simply half-baked cash ins on some terribly implemented idea, but are also ruining everything i hold sacred from my childhood. Companies like Disney continue to sedate classics like the Lion King and Aladdin, and then proceed to sodomize them with shitty sequels. When i heard that Steven Spielberg and Michael Bay were doing a live action version of Transformers i was overcome with two emotions, i was giddy because Spielberg was at the helm, but i was also a bit apprehensive, cause Michael Bay has been known to, how do you say.... royaly fuck up certain films (Armageddon anyone??). But now i have some visual proof, below is the Megatron i know and love/hate......






















and this....


I don't even know what the fried fuck this is, but it ain't the evil motherfucker i loved to hate every saturday morning while eating my cornflakes. I don't know if kids these days are desensitized, but shit like this would scare the black off me back in the day. I dont even know if they can make this thing into a usable action figure, it looks like every corner of this fucker would remove an eye, marketing is gonna have a tough time with this one. At least they thought ahead of themselves and put an orfice in the front that kids can maime themselves with. I'm still holding out hope for this movie, but if they made Megatron into a modern day juicer, i can only imagine my boy Optimus Prime as a four slot breadmachine/truck. Note to Hollywood, please stop fucking up my nostalgic heroes.